I'm not even sure how to begin this blog.... today has honestly been one of the hardest days of my life. I feel that I'm at a loss for words. I honestly just sit here numb to the reality of the present.
Today around 1:00 in the afternoon, I got a call from my dad. He was hesitant to tell me what had happened.. just that something "bad" had happened, but after pushing him to tell me, he finally uttered the words....."Robert committed suicide last night".
Today around 1:00 in the afternoon, I got a call from my dad. He was hesitant to tell me what had happened.. just that something "bad" had happened, but after pushing him to tell me, he finally uttered the words....."Robert committed suicide last night".
So many thoughts raced through my head...
My cousin Robert? The one I had just talked to for almost an hour the other day? The one that I was laughing with and joking with over the phone just 2 days ago? He's gone? He can't be...
Gosh, if only I knew this was going to happen... If only I could tell him more how much I love him and how much Jesus loves him. Robert and I have had countless conversations about the Lord before...but had any of it really stuck? Had it not been enough? So many questions still continue to race through my head at this very moment-----I'm at a loss for words---- It breaks my heart that people can get to the point where they feel so low and hopeless, but I know we live in a world where the deceit of the devil is so real and so powerful.
I sit here asking myself the question, WHY? Why him, Lord? Why now? Why ever?...
It amazes me how someone can be in your life and be gone in an instant. Just the other day we were joking and reminiscing of past times. He was telling me stories of his trips to Illinois when he would visit our grandma and grandpa. He was telling me about a time him and my brother,Jake,were in the car with our grandparents. There had been tornado warnings all day. And my brother and him were convinced that their car was going up into a tornado. We were laughing about it. Gosh, I still feel in shock that he's gone. It's been hitting me here and there throughout the day, but as much as my heart aches.. it just feels so hard for me to believe its real. But it is.
I sit here asking myself the question, WHY? Why him, Lord? Why now? Why ever?...
It amazes me how someone can be in your life and be gone in an instant. Just the other day we were joking and reminiscing of past times. He was telling me stories of his trips to Illinois when he would visit our grandma and grandpa. He was telling me about a time him and my brother,Jake,were in the car with our grandparents. There had been tornado warnings all day. And my brother and him were convinced that their car was going up into a tornado. We were laughing about it. Gosh, I still feel in shock that he's gone. It's been hitting me here and there throughout the day, but as much as my heart aches.. it just feels so hard for me to believe its real. But it is.
I am so grateful for the many fond memories I have with him and he will be greatly missed by so many! He had been struggling with an alcohol addiction and had been drinking last night. I know that the alcohol definitely had an effect on this outcome....
But in my heartache and with my many questions.. I will still continue to praise my Jesus!
I'd like to share a devotional by Max Lucado that really touched my heart and I feel completely relates to what is going on (just not in my life, but im sure in so many others)
But in my heartache and with my many questions.. I will still continue to praise my Jesus!
I'd like to share a devotional by Max Lucado that really touched my heart and I feel completely relates to what is going on (just not in my life, but im sure in so many others)
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Daily Devotional by Max Lucado
Daily Devotional by Max Lucado
“the One who came still comes and the One who spoke still speaks”
God Knows What He’s Doing.Surely I spoke of things I did not understand; I talked of things too wonderful for me to know. Job 42:3
(NCV)It's easy to thank God when he does what we want. But God doesn't always do what we want. Ask Job.His empire collapsed, his children were killed, and what was a healthy body became a rage of boils. From whence came this torrent? From whence will come any help?Job goes straight to God and pleads his case. His head hurts. His body hurts. His heart hurts. And God answers. Not with answers but with questions. An ocean of questions. . . . After several dozen questions ... Job has gotten the point.
What is it?
The point is this: God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If he gave them, we couldn't understand them.God is God. He knows what he is doing. When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart.
Please continue to keep us all in your prayers. Especially my Aunt Ellie, Uncle Butch, my cousin Christopher, Robert's daughter Sadie and so many of the other people that are mourning this loss.
Robert Henson- You will be missed!!
*Take time out today to tell your friends/family how much you love them, you never know when they'll be gone.
I will definitly keep you all in my prayers! Thanks for the reminder to love those who come in my path, each and every day. A story like this is a big wake up call. Love you girl.
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